Ra Ra Ranked: Every Song About Rasputin Worth Knowing

He survived poison, bullets and a frozen river. He did not survive Eurodisco, which is why this list is mostly one song in different hats.

Entries
8
Category
Music
Updated
  1. A neon-lit Madrid nightclub with a fur hat on the DJ booth.

    08. Rasputin (Spanish version)

    Fangoria · 2003

    The Spanish synth-pop duo's version, tucked onto a compilation, proves the song works in any language as long as the language has a word for 'scandal.'

  2. A fiddle and a pint glass on a sticky pub table beneath an Orthodox icon on the wall.

    07. Rasputin

    Boiled in Lead · 1994

    An American Celtic punk band put it on 'Antler Dance,' giving us a Russian mystic, by way of German disco, played like last call at an Irish pub. Globalization was a mistake, and also this rules.

  3. A second, identical record sleeve stacked on a dusty 1978 shop shelf under a flickering fluorescent light.

    06. Rasputin (German version)

    Gilla · 1978

    Frank Farian, never one to waste a hit, cut a German-language version with singer Gilla that November. It went nowhere. Even Rasputin couldn't survive being done twice in one autumn.

  4. A single acoustic guitar leaning against a birch tree in a misty forest clearing.

    05. Rasputin (acoustic)

    AURORA · 2021

    The Norwegian singer took it down to a hushed acoustic cover, which means somebody finally sang the poisoning-and-shooting part with the eerie seriousness it deserves.

  5. A fiddle and a pint glass on a sticky pub table beneath an Orthodox icon on the wall.

    04. Rasputin

    Turisas · 2007

    Finnish folk metal in red-and-black war paint, played live for years until fans begged for a studio version. It turns out the song was always one accordion and a battle cry away from being metal.

  6. A smartphone propped on a ring light in a bedroom with a fur hat hanging from the mirror.

    03. Rasputin (Majestic x Boney M.)

    Majestic x Boney M. · 2021

    The TikTok-era remix, UK No. 11 in 2021, trimmed to just the first verse and chorus. Rasputin in a 15-second clip, which, considering how hard the man was to get rid of, is a nice change of pace.

  7. A green-lit underworld lair full of glowing insects swirling around a cracked reliquary.

    02. In the Dark of the Night

    Jim Cummings (from Anastasia) · 1997

    A villain song in which Rasputin's body is literally falling apart and he keeps belting. Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty wrote it; Jim Steinman, the Meat Loaf guy, produced it, which explains the size. Christopher Lloyd talks, Jim Cummings sings, bugs do backup.

  8. A fiddle and a pint glass on a sticky pub table beneath an Orthodox icon on the wall.

    01. Rasputin

    Boney M. · 1978

    The original and the reason the rest of this list exists. Frank Farian, George Reyam and Fred Jay wrote a disco biography with a balalaika riff and a murder in the last verse. UK No. 2, German No. 1, and reportedly unperformable on their 1978 Soviet trip.

Honorable mentions

  • An object that evokes Acnes (青春痘).

    Acnes (青春痘)

    Tsui Siu-Ming · 1980

    A Cantonese version of the Boney M. tune that is about pimples. Not Rasputin, technically, but also something you can't get rid of no matter what you try.

  • An object that evokes Rasputin (Finnish parody).

    Rasputin (Finnish parody)

    Sleepy Sleepers · 1978

    Finnish punks parodied it the same year it came out, which is the fastest anyone has ever gotten to Rasputin.

Dishonorable mentions

  • An object that evokes Anastasia (Broadway).

    Anastasia (Broadway)

    Terrence McNally, Ahrens & Flaherty · 2017

    The stage version cut Rasputin entirely and swapped in a Soviet officer named Gleb. The one villain who made the movie fun, poisoned by a book writer. History rhymes.

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