80s Cartoon Intros, Ranked

Sixty seconds of toy commercial, remembered better than most weddings.

Entries
10
Category
TV
Updated
  1. A red brick firehouse at night with a white vintage ambulance-style car parked out front, green slime dripping from the doorway.

    10. The Real Ghostbusters

    DIC and Columbia Pictures Television · 1986

    It opened with Ray Parker Jr.'s actual movie theme, which is cheating, and they got away with it. The 'Real' was added after a dispute with Filmation, which had its own Ghost Busters. A title that doubles as a legal brief.

  2. A skull-shaped castle on a cliff with a drawbridge open, a gleaming broadsword raised above it into lightning.

    09. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

    Filmation · 1983

    Prince Adam raises a sword and shouts that he has the power, and Filmation reused that transformation so much it practically paid for itself. The episodes ended with a moral, after an hour of punching. Balance.

  3. A pair of glowing pink star-shaped earrings on a concert stage under purple lights, a holographic projector beaming sparkles.

    08. Jem

    Christy Marx · 1985

    The show packed 151 unique songs into 187 music videos, and the opener tells you she is truly outrageous, which is a lot to promise on a Saturday. Kinder and Bryant again. Somebody pay them more.

  4. A tiny propeller airplane built from a hairpin, a spoon and a soda bottle cap, flying over a city skyline at night.

    07. Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    Walt Disney Television Animation · 1989

    Same team as DuckTales: Mark Mueller wrote it, Jeff Pescetto sang it. It is about chipmunks running a detective agency and it rocks harder than it has any right to. Disney found a formula and pressed it again.

  5. A trench coat and grey hat on a coat rack, a helicopter propeller and an extending mechanical arm sprouting from the hat.

    06. Inspector Gadget

    DIC · 1983

    Shuki Levy and Haim Saban, later of Power Rangers money, wrote a theme that borrows from Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King. Smart move. Grieg had been dead since 1907 and was not filing anything.

  6. A desert battlefield crisscrossed with red and blue laser beams, a parachute drifting down, not a single hit.

    05. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

    Sunbow Productions and Marvel Productions · 1985

    Jackson Beck's narration lays out the premise like a military briefing, then a lot of lasers miss a lot of people. Every episode ended with a safety lesson and the line about knowing being half the battle. The other half was lasers.

  7. A red semi-truck and a yellow compact car parked in a desert canyon, their shadows on the rock shaped like giant robots.

    04. The Transformers

    Sunbow Productions and Marvel Productions · 1984

    Anne Bryant and Ford Kinder wrote the theme, credited as Kinder & Bryant, and every Western Transformers theme since has been a cover of it. Each of the first three seasons got new opening animation. Four words of lyrics, all load-bearing.

  8. A jagged stone fortress on a distant planet under a red sky, an ornate sword with a glowing red eye stone stuck in the rocks.

    03. ThunderCats

    Rankin/Bass · 1985

    Bernard Hoffer's theme plus Japanese animation from Topcraft, the studio whose staff went on to form Studio Ghibli. The first season reportedly cost $15 million. It is a toy commercial with the production values of a moon landing.

  9. A dripping sewer tunnel lit green, four colored bandanas hanging on a pipe beside a stack of open pizza boxes.

    02. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    Fred Wolf Films · 1987

    Chuck Lorre, years before The Big Bang Theory, co-wrote the theme with Dennis C. Brown on a $2,000 budget and a 48-hour deadline. It explains the premise, the cast and the diet in a minute. Lorre's later sitcoms needed a laugh track to do less.

  10. A mountain of gold coins spilling out of a vault door, a lone gold coin rolling toward a spinning globe.

    01. DuckTales

    Walt Disney Television Animation · 1987

    Mark Mueller wrote the theme for $1,250 and Vanity Fair later called it history's catchiest single minute of music. Jeff Pescetto sings it. You are now humming it. That was not a question, and there is no cure.

Honorable mentions

  • Five metal robot lions in black, red, green, blue and yellow, lined up on a rocky alien plain under two moons.

    Voltron: Defender of the Universe

    World Events Productions · 1984

    Recut from the Japanese anime Beast King GoLion, it opens with a narrator promising a legend from days of long ago. Five robot lions combine into one robot. The intro is the only part anyone needed; the rest was the lions arriving late.

Dishonorable mentions

  • A scrambled colorful puzzle cube floating in midair above a stagecoach wheel, sparkles around it, one face nearly solved.

    Rubik, the Amazing Cube

    Ruby-Spears Enterprises · 1983

    A magic Rubik's Cube that comes to life when solved, with a theme performed by the boy band Menudo. It lasted 12 episodes. Most kids never solved the cube, so most kids never met the main character. Neither did the audience.

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